- Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
- We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
- The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
- Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
- Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
- If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
- I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.
- Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?
- I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
- You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute if you plan to skydive more than once.
- I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
- There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
- When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
- To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
- I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon...and a shot of tequila.
September is EMERGENCY PREPAREDNESS Month
Tip #5: Fill up your bathtub(s) with water.
- During an emergency, water may become contaminated or scarce. By filling your bathtubs with water, you will have water for sanitary purposes (cleaning, toilet flushing, etc.) and in case of a dire emergency you can boil this water for consumption. If you have a tub that does not have a good seal, you can use a little bead of caulk (do not caulk the plug into the drain). When things return to normal, you can scrap off the caulk.
- In case flooding causes you to flee to your attic, you may need a way out through the roof or you may need a ventilation hole.
Tip #3: Have a plan
Tip #2: Update your address book.
Tip #1: Use your dishwasher for watertight storage.