A Little Funny

Found these on another blog today and thought I would share a laugh with you . . .

• Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
• We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
• The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
• Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
• Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
• If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
• I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.
• Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?
• I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
• You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute if you plan to skydive more than once.
• I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
• There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
• When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
• To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
• I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon...and a shot of tequila.

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September is EMERGENCY PREPAREDNESS Month

Tip #5: Fill up your bathtub(s) with water.

• During an emergency, water may become contaminated or scarce. By filling your bathtubs with water, you will have water for sanitary purposes (cleaning, toilet flushing, etc.) and in case of a dire emergency you can boil this water for consumption. If you have a tub that does not have a good seal, you can use a little bead of caulk (do not caulk the plug into the drain). When things return to normal, you can scrap off the caulk.

Tip #6: Keep an ax in the attic.

• In case flooding causes you to flee to your attic, you may need a way out through the roof or you may need a ventilation hole.

Tip #4: Planning ahead for evacuation with children and pets.
Tip #3: Have a plan
Tip #2: Update your address book.
Tip #1: Use your dishwasher for watertight storage.